Other relationships

So let me share something I felt while talking to a few of my friends the other day. Some of us are in pretty serious relationships (you know, the ones you'll do anything for each other and what not). We talk about how our relationship has changed (or not) before and after getting together. We talk about what it’s like being a boyfriend or girlfriend. We talk about how things are going in general–the good, the bad, the highs, the lows, the triumphs and the struggles. And of course, we get a chance to see how we interact with our significant other. 

I’m sure if you have friends in the same life stage as you, you may be doing the same thing.

During these times, I know it's very tempting to be comparing your relationship with your friend's. To some, you may think your friend has THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP, THE PERFECT BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND. You may think that there's something wrong with yours that is not so great as what you see in theirs. While these couples are happily floating along in their first few years being together, you feel like you're swimming against the current and you thought to yourself "STOP! I need a moment to reflect on this...."

What's going through your mind are questions like, "Why couldn't he do the same for me?" "Why isn't he more exciting?" "Do he even love me? He doesn't like doing all these surprise for me even though I like it once in a while" (Ya and the questions goes on and on...) 

You'll never really know what goes on in another person's relationship. No one usually airs their dirty laundry out in public. Most couples (even me) never want to let on that things aren't as great as they thought it could be. (unless you're just asking for attention) Whatever the reason it may be, they'll be embarrassed to share it out on public. So obviously, couples usually only share the positive that goes on. They may also interact with their spouse differently in public that in private. 

Lessons learned? Don’t compare your marriage to other couples. You never really know what goes on behind closed doors. Don't expect your relationship to be the same like your friends or whoever you came across being in a happy relationship. If you want something to happen, why not do it for your boyfriend instead of hinting him that you want all these surprising. I mean once in a while, doing it for him for a start could be a lot better. Stop expecting him things like this from him. He's human too, he has feelings. He has better things to do, work, school, family and friends. He can't be always doing things for you just so he could be pleasing you. Some girls just have to know, having a boyfriend isn't about someone who's always surprising and getting stuff for you just so he can make you happy. Having a boyfriend is about commitment, being there for one another, loving each other no matter what. 

If it's meant to be, it will be. So stop expecting, start appreciating.